On importance of being grateful for what you’ve got

I have seen this article few days ago and I cannot stop thinking about it ever since. Vida Bors, a young Croatian architect and performance artist, 30, has died from cancer after several years of struggle. For all this time she has been writing a blog, which gives you a direct insight into what she was going through on daily basis. I did dare to read it (from the comfort of my bed, how ‘brave’ of me!) and instantly felt ashamed for my ‘problems’. Her honest and somewhat brutal way of writing as well as her non-hiding of unpretty details about medical procedures and its consequences is exactly what we need in the time when we are not happy with our lives (because it should be more perfect – I suppose ?!). I am sure that many of you have also faced with these kinds of diseases in family and friend circles, just as I did (also recently), but this story shocks you again with its proximity. I know that this is not the first story of this kind written in this way; late German director Schlingensief has also been writing a diary (“So schön wie hier kanns im Himmel gar nicht sein”) during his sickness. Vida’s story struck me perhaps more because she is also a young woman, almost of my age, and her interests do not differ from those of my friends and me. (Like with the ‘funny’ example of ‘how she could not stay at the party longer than 15 min because of the pain in the spine… so why wouldn’t someone invent something for that kind of people, like a little niche with a bed, where onewith cancer could rest…’  and this is a light part of it) I just wish that this mixed feeling of shame, remorse, self-regret but also self-forgiveness would last a bit longer and that I do not fall too soon in the old trap of rumination…

“eh al možda, možda bi onda svi trebali biti jako bolesni pa bi bili svi opušteniji i otvoreniji i više se grlili i cjelovali i zube pokazivali” (18/01/2010)

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